Car trouble: The Apple car deemed a non-starter

Here’s what we know about the Apple car: Literally nothing. Oh, well, except for the fact that it’s doomed.

Writing for the lovely people and then the near-people and, eeugh, what is that? and OK, getting weirder, and finally that thing with eyes in its palms from Pan’s Labyrinth over at Business Insider, Matthew DeBord is so very sure the Apple car is DOA.

“This is why Tesla and Google are the future of cars—and Apple isn’t.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Nate Ardle.)

What’s the actual news event here? Tesla hired somebody. Ergo, Apple doomed. Look, if a kitten gets stuck in a tree and you can’t find a way to get Apple into the headline in a negative light then maybe writing for Business Insider just isn’t for you, OK?

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